weekly fixations | edition 01

Here are five things I’m currently fixating on - feel free to borrow them for your small talk needs this week. There’s also an advice column, because why not.

People trust referrals more than anything - please send this to three people you know who enjoy stretching their brains, exploring the vague, or starting weird conversations at parties. 🙏

If a friend sent this to you, they have good taste and you should stay friends with them. Subscribe to receive future editions here.

1. This tweet

I can’t explain it, but this tweet has stuck with me for days. What if more of us asked these types of questions more frequently?

The word ‘wonder’ especially stands out - I feel like we don’t wonder enough, collectively. It implies a sort of casual expansion of the mind and point of view - something our world doesn’t create enough space for. Wondering doesn’t always have to have a goal - its purpose is simply to explore and consider.

2. This thought piece on taste, and the concept of taste in general

I worked at Pinterest for five of its early years, and I think the most valuable thing I took from that experience (besides my equity 😏) was a deep understanding of my own taste.

The concept of taste is so beautifully human - maybe the most visible representation of what makes each of us unique. It really can’t be explained why we gravitate toward one thing or another. Perhaps it’s partially influenced by what we grew up around, or what we aspire to, but there’s an undeniably raw and mythical, enigmatic element to it.

It’s also now being heralded as perhaps the only thing that will protect us from a total AI job takeover. Integrating taste into writing, curation and creation will be challenging - maybe we shouldn’t try too hard at it.

3. This book

I may be Amanda Montell’s biggest fan. IMO, her writing and her work are so critical in the context we live in, and she somehow presents her thoughts in a way that is clear, open-minded, opinionated and reassuring all at the same time.

I recommend her previous book, Cultish, to nearly everyone I meet. It’s an examination of the language of cults and fanaticism, utilizing examples ranging from Jonestown to Soulcycle. It’s an excellent reminder of the responsibility we have when leading groups of people, and a crisp set of guidelines of how to keep a clear head when faced with very well written copy.

Her new book, The Age of Magical Overthinking, is a commentary on and exploration of our delusions as coping mechanisms in an increasingly overstimulating world. I’m about halfway through and couldn’t recommend it enough.

4. This fact and the concept of deep time

😶 What?
As someone who prides myself on my acknowledgement of how tiny I am on this spinning rock in a short blip of time, I am still deeply unseated by these timelines.

Deep time refers to the vast, almost unfathomable timescales that are involved in geological and cosmological processes. It encompasses millions, billions, and even trillions of years, timescales that are far beyond the human lifespan and, therefore, challenging for our minds to comprehend fully.

Despite its excruciatingly lame title, this article does a nice job of contextualizing deep time and the timelines we should attempt to internalize should we desire an accurate understanding of where we stand.

This is an interesting application of the concept - an MIT instructor teaches a course titled ‘The Deep Time Project’, focused on the hypothesis that architects must develop deep time literacy in order to become true planetary stewards.

5. This thing that helps with posture

This lil green egg has literally changed my life. Leading up to our wedding in October, one of the things I wanted to work on improving was my cashew-adjacent posture. I bought this a couple of months ago and use it for 2-3 minutes in the morning and again before I go to bed. It stretches your upper back out and relieves a ton of tension and I truly 10/10 recommend.

I’ve always wanted my own advice column so here we are.

Submit questions anonymously at this link.

A: I have a really hard time believing that everyone doesn’t struggle with this at least a little bit. It’s sort of the social version of the ‘work-life balance’ which we all know doesn’t actually exist.

If I were you, I’d start by practicing getting really in tune with acknowledging your mental headspace and what needs come along with it, as well as recognizing that this will change day to day and week to week.

When you’re making these decisions of solitude vs. social, there are a few questions to ask yourself:

1. How am I feeling on a scale of burnt out to fully charged?

2. Where do I want to draw my energy from this week?

3. What do I absolutely need to get done this week (ie what time and energy do I need to protect?)

4. In my flexible time this week, do I feel drawn toward inputs or outputs? (ie do I want to take in inspiration and thoughts from others, or do I want to spend time with my own thoughts or hobbies?)

Another great thing to do is start to develop your language around making and communicating these decisions. It took me a long time to get comfortable turning down invitations as someone who’s chronically worried people don’t like me.

After a lot of practice and iteration, my go to has become: ‘thank you so much for inviting me but my social battery is running a little low’.

It turns out this is very relatable and pretty much everyone understands and doesn’t think twice about it. Once you get a few reps in with a phrase you’re comfortable with, it’ll get a lot easier to make quick decisions and communicate them in a way you feel good about.

See you next week!

❤️ Mallory